Saturday, 14 December 2013

The Distant Dream

I am the unfortunate child. I am sitting here with a nose full of phlegm whereas I should’ve been getting ready and excited about the Airtel Delhi Half Marathon that’s happening tomorrow. I will probably just shut the door and wank myself off to sleep.



It’s a replay of 2012 but even worse. Last year, a week before the 6 km long Great Delhi Run for which I had registered, I injured my foot and couldn’t even walk straight. The doctor recommended I skip the run unless I wanted to aggravate it and risk causing some permanent or serious damage to my foot. Since I am not a jackass, I concurred. I am an ass, though. Just.

Having erratically prepared for this year’s run, a whopping 21.097 kms, I had made up my mind, come rain or shine, I was going to complete the half marathon on the 15th of December. About a couple of months back I suffered my first setback, a stress fracture. I didn’t even know what it was till the doctor told me about it and till Dr. Google showed me what it meant. It wasn’t even a real fracture. It’s just a precursor to an actual fracture, which would definitely happen, if precautions were not taken. I mean, come on, it was just idiotic. The doctor suggested a month long break from my runs. I concurred, yet again.

I resumed my runs and practiced as much as I could. I wasn’t too regular but I did run every now and then. I had managed to run 8 kms in an hour, my personal best. I was all set for my first half marathon. I even collected my runner’s bib and the goody bag these guys give out a week before the race at an expo. But as luck would have it, 6 days before the race, out of nowhere, I caught a cold. It wasn’t a regular achoo achee cold, it was crazy. I took some meds and cough syrup and passed out on the first night. I took 2 days off from work. I couldn’t breathe properly and experienced serious bouts of sleep apnea. When I did get a little better after 2 days, I went back to work, only to notice a liquid secretion from my already damaged left ear. I immediately went to a doc and he diagnosed an ear infection and I underwent a clean-up procedure and was handed a 5-day long antibiotic treatment. I am now on 9 tablets a day till Wednesday. The race is tomorrow.



I am extremely demotivated, disappointed and sad. This is the second year in a row when I have had to skip the run due to some last minute crap. I feel I may have brought this upon myself. Maybe I am not mentally strong and I somehow sub-consciously let this crap happen to me. Whatever it is, it is extremely disheartening and causes a heavy dent in my confidence and positivity. It is yet another unfulfilled desire, a distant dream. It is another task item in my to-do list that I have not been able to complete for whatever reasons. It still remains a fantasy and stuff my dreams are made of.

I will not give up though. I will not blame anyone for this. It is because of my lifestyle, my habits that I have fallen ill at such an unfortunate time. I will try and not feel unlucky because I know for a fact that I have been fairly lucky all my life. I will participate in next year’s race and I will give my all. I will prepare even harder and I will someday finish a half marathon and tick it off my bucket list.


I apologise to myself for disappointing myself yet again. I will get better soon. I will achieve. I will survive. I will make my distant dream come true. I promise. Let this blog be proof for that. I’ll see you all next year. 

4 comments:

  1. Sorry to hear abt ur ear. Get well soon!

    ReplyDelete
  2. Ah, tell me about it. Ive been sort of going on and off with a 5k race just cause of the number of injuries or drama that keeps happening. i feel you. Good luck though to still keep trying :D
    A.D!!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Haha same to you! Must not give up! :P

      Delete