Saturday, 14 December 2013

The Distant Dream

I am the unfortunate child. I am sitting here with a nose full of phlegm whereas I should’ve been getting ready and excited about the Airtel Delhi Half Marathon that’s happening tomorrow. I will probably just shut the door and wank myself off to sleep.

It’s a replay of 2012 but even worse. Last year, a week before the 6 km long Great Delhi Run for which I had registered, I injured my foot and couldn’t even walk straight. The doctor recommended I skip the run unless I wanted to aggravate it and risk causing some permanent or serious damage to my foot. Since I am not a jackass, I concurred. I am an ass, though. Just.

Having erratically prepared for this year’s run, a whopping 21.097 kms, I had made up my mind, come rain or shine, I was going to complete the half marathon on the 15th of December. About a couple of months back I suffered my first setback, a stress fracture. I didn’t even know what it was till the doctor told me about it and till Dr. Google showed me what it meant. It wasn’t even a real fracture. It’s just a precursor to an actual fracture, which would definitely happen, if precautions were not taken. I mean, come on, it was just idiotic. The doctor suggested a month long break from my runs. I concurred, yet again.

I resumed my runs and practiced as much as I could. I wasn’t too regular but I did run every now and then. I had managed to run 8 kms in an hour, my personal best. I was all set for my first half marathon. I even collected my runner’s bib and the goody bag these guys give out a week before the race at an expo. But as luck would have it, 6 days before the race, out of nowhere, I caught a cold. It wasn’t a regular achoo achee cold, it was crazy. I took some meds and cough syrup and passed out on the first night. I took 2 days off from work. I couldn’t breathe properly and experienced serious bouts of sleep apnea. When I did get a little better after 2 days, I went back to work, only to notice a liquid secretion from my already damaged left ear. I immediately went to a doc and he diagnosed an ear infection and I underwent a clean-up procedure and was handed a 5-day long antibiotic treatment. I am now on 9 tablets a day till Wednesday. The race is tomorrow.

I am extremely demotivated, disappointed and sad. This is the second year in a row when I have had to skip the run due to some last minute crap. I feel I may have brought this upon myself. Maybe I am not mentally strong and I somehow sub-consciously let this crap happen to me. Whatever it is, it is extremely disheartening and causes a heavy dent in my confidence and positivity. It is yet another unfulfilled desire, a distant dream. It is another task item in my to-do list that I have not been able to complete for whatever reasons. It still remains a fantasy and stuff my dreams are made of.

I will not give up though. I will not blame anyone for this. It is because of my lifestyle, my habits that I have fallen ill at such an unfortunate time. I will try and not feel unlucky because I know for a fact that I have been fairly lucky all my life. I will participate in next year’s race and I will give my all. I will prepare even harder and I will someday finish a half marathon and tick it off my bucket list.

I apologise to myself for disappointing myself yet again. I will get better soon. I will achieve. I will survive. I will make my distant dream come true. I promise. Let this blog be proof for that. I’ll see you all next year. 


  1. Sorry to hear abt ur ear. Get well soon!

  2. Ah, tell me about it. Ive been sort of going on and off with a 5k race just cause of the number of injuries or drama that keeps happening. i feel you. Good luck though to still keep trying :D

    1. Haha same to you! Must not give up! :P