It’s a great feeling for the Indian in me when I see my country’s culture reaching the whole world through days like International Yoga Day. It gives me immense pleasure when Shri Narendra Modi Ji, Honourable Prime Minister of India, is on radio or TV or Facebook or Twitter or in Namibia or Cambodia or Kyrgyzstan talking about how proud he feels about being an Indian, finally. It’s almost orgasmic. I have a feeling that this is just the beginning of our country’s greatness being appreciated by the greatest of countries the world over and we should not let the momentum die. I suggest we should celebrate more such days like the International Yoga Day which celebrate the Indian culture at its best. We have 12 months and we should have a day each month to celebrate our awesomeness. Following are some suggestions:
International Shame A Woman Day
Be it raping her, molesting her, staring at her, hitting her, or simply disrespecting her; we need a day when men the world over have a day to themselves to treat their women like shit and shame them in both private and public.
International Litter Day
This is probably going to be a tough one for a lot of countries but they should experience the liberating feeling of littering wherever possible. There’s just one rule: You can’t litter in a dustbin or a designated place for trash. Let the games begin, you have 24 hours!
International Child Labour Day
Imagine instead of a ‘nanny’, parents world over start hiring a ‘poti’ to take care of their young ones. Wouldn’t it be a great feeling for them to go to a fancy restaurant with their noisy kids and a caretaker younger than the kid themselves, and while they and their kids eat, the caretaker sits on the side just cleaning up the mess the kids create!? They deserve this once a year!
International Dowry Day
The westerners have gotten it all wrong. They don’t know how to get married. What is a wedding, after all, without a bit of give and take? These modern, educated foreigners need a day on which if they get married, the groom gets gold worth 3 times more than his entire wealth.
International Public Urination Day
This is my favourite one. There is something wrong with the world if a self-righteous man can’t urinate in public without shame when he wants. It’s time for the West to get equal rights and a day when all the men walk around in public just peeing on the streets.
International Cow Worship Day
This makes so much sense. You’re praying to an animal that gives you milk and one of the tastiest meats ever. On this day, it should be made compulsory for each person to touch the feet of a cow before they eat their steak.
International Break a Rule Day
This one is more like a Mah Lyf Mah Rulz kind of a day. Who needs to stop at red lights? Who needs to pass an exam without cheating? Who needs to tell the truth about their last salary? You’re free to do what you want. You got a day. What will you do?
International Treat A Foreigner Like God Day
Who says God isn’t amongst us? Come to India and you will find white-skinned Gods walking all around us. Make us talk to one and you will quickly notice how we start licking their ass in an instant. Try it, even if just for a day.
International Kill Your Kin Day
Hey, so your Catholic daughter married a Protestant boy? Kill her. Or did your New York raised daughter married someone from Colorado? Kill him instead. Or did you just catch her meeting her boyfriend at 8 in the evening? Kill them both and bury them in Vegas.
International No Condom Day
Real men don’t need condoms. Hell yeah. Ask any Indian and he will proudly talk about how his below average sized penis does not need no rubber. One day across the world where every couple needs to have sex without a condom and ensure they have a baby in 9 months. Why should India be the only country procreating like rabbits?
International Give A Random Fuck Day
What would your father say? What would your neighbour think? What if your friend finds out? What if your tailor sees you? What if that beggar spots you there? WHAT WILL PEOPLE THINK? Give a random fuck. Make some complete idiot’s day by spoiling yours. Try it once!
PS - It is a given that each of these days will be governed by the awe-inspiring, omnipresent days of all. The one and only. DRY DAY!
International Shame A Woman Day
Be it raping her, molesting her, staring at her, hitting her, or simply disrespecting her; we need a day when men the world over have a day to themselves to treat their women like shit and shame them in both private and public.
International Litter Day
This is probably going to be a tough one for a lot of countries but they should experience the liberating feeling of littering wherever possible. There’s just one rule: You can’t litter in a dustbin or a designated place for trash. Let the games begin, you have 24 hours!
International Child Labour Day
Imagine instead of a ‘nanny’, parents world over start hiring a ‘poti’ to take care of their young ones. Wouldn’t it be a great feeling for them to go to a fancy restaurant with their noisy kids and a caretaker younger than the kid themselves, and while they and their kids eat, the caretaker sits on the side just cleaning up the mess the kids create!? They deserve this once a year!
International Dowry Day
The westerners have gotten it all wrong. They don’t know how to get married. What is a wedding, after all, without a bit of give and take? These modern, educated foreigners need a day on which if they get married, the groom gets gold worth 3 times more than his entire wealth.
International Public Urination Day
This is my favourite one. There is something wrong with the world if a self-righteous man can’t urinate in public without shame when he wants. It’s time for the West to get equal rights and a day when all the men walk around in public just peeing on the streets.
International Cow Worship Day
This makes so much sense. You’re praying to an animal that gives you milk and one of the tastiest meats ever. On this day, it should be made compulsory for each person to touch the feet of a cow before they eat their steak.
International Break a Rule Day
This one is more like a Mah Lyf Mah Rulz kind of a day. Who needs to stop at red lights? Who needs to pass an exam without cheating? Who needs to tell the truth about their last salary? You’re free to do what you want. You got a day. What will you do?
International Treat A Foreigner Like God Day
Who says God isn’t amongst us? Come to India and you will find white-skinned Gods walking all around us. Make us talk to one and you will quickly notice how we start licking their ass in an instant. Try it, even if just for a day.
International Kill Your Kin Day
Hey, so your Catholic daughter married a Protestant boy? Kill her. Or did your New York raised daughter married someone from Colorado? Kill him instead. Or did you just catch her meeting her boyfriend at 8 in the evening? Kill them both and bury them in Vegas.
International No Condom Day
Real men don’t need condoms. Hell yeah. Ask any Indian and he will proudly talk about how his below average sized penis does not need no rubber. One day across the world where every couple needs to have sex without a condom and ensure they have a baby in 9 months. Why should India be the only country procreating like rabbits?
International Give A Random Fuck Day
What would your father say? What would your neighbour think? What if your friend finds out? What if your tailor sees you? What if that beggar spots you there? WHAT WILL PEOPLE THINK? Give a random fuck. Make some complete idiot’s day by spoiling yours. Try it once!
PS - It is a given that each of these days will be governed by the awe-inspiring, omnipresent days of all. The one and only. DRY DAY!
