Saturday, 8 August 2015

Running While Shitting

I have been training to run a half marathon for over 3 years now and I’m nowhere close to making it happen. I barely survive 3-6 kms and I continue to be fat as shit. Though, I haven’t given up yet. I’m trying again this year and I’m hoping writing this blog will help me gain some stamina. Heh, kidding!

Now imagine if I get a bad dose of loose motions just a night before the half marathon and I decide to not do anything about it. Rather, I run the half marathon with shit dripping down my legs, proudly. And the message I’m trying to convey is that we shouldn’t shame people who defecate in public and to show solidarity for my brothers and sisters who do not have access to proper toilets.

Will you be cool with that? I won’t, if someone else decides to do that. Usually, people who shit their pants are drunkards. If it’s a mistake, if something went wrong, if it was beyond your control, I get it (I’ve often taken a dump in my pants as a kid); for any other reason, it just doesn’t make any sense.

This is exactly what Kiran Gandhi has done in my honest opinion. The comparison may be hugely senseless but it sure is funny.

PS – In case you do not know who Kiran Gandhi is and what she has done, please go read her blog entry here. In one line: She ran the London Marathon with period blood dripping down her legs. Photo below.

Firstly, I’m all for feminism and equal rights and all that stuff. I don’t hit women. I love women. I believe in equality for all. I live with my parents (man and woman). I’m married to a woman. My sister is a woman. Heck,I've even got a female dog. And if I didn’t have enough chest and facial hair, my man boobs will make you think I was a woman!

Secondly, Kiran Gandhi, you go girl. It’s great that you ran a full marathon without taking a single break. This is the kind of stuff my dreams are made of. I’m hoping, someday, I will replicate this feat, minus the period blood.

Thirdly, it’s amazing you managed to raise over $6000 towards breast cancer care. I haven’t done shit about prostate cancer ever in my life. I hope I find some inspiration from you.

Fourthly, it’s great you care about period shaming and how women do not have access to even basic hygiene stuff and are often shunned by society because of something as natural as menstruation. I’m thinking of taking up the cause of better television ads for sanitary pads in India. I’m tired of the fake blue blood they keep showing and the women jumping around when clearly all those are lies. Blood is red and women do anything but jump during their period.

Lastly, though, why the hell couldn’t you wear a tampon or a pad or simply a black pair of pants?

It would have been completely fine had you started menstruating during the marathon. Clearly, you didn’t know and it was not time to give up. I mean, I would have proudly ran alongside you on my motorcycle and kicked everyone away who shamed you for dripping blood all over the track. I would also have taken you home immediately after the run to ensure you could clean up at the earliest and do the needful to avoid any infection.

But, no. You had a point to prove. You started menstruating a night before the run so you knew. You could have used a tampon or a pad. You could have decided to wear a black pair of pants for least visibility of blood. But, no. You had to run around with blood dripping down your legs and show it to the whole world (in metropolitan London) and gain as much attention as possible and call it feminism. Or whatever your cause was. I’m actually feeling quite disillusioned now about why you did this.

And you wore bright light pink pants for maximum visibility and effect.

Tell me, how has it changed the world? Is any woman doing anything about period shaming now? Have any of the men changed their minds about it? Has your message reached the interiors of India where this period shaming happens? Is there a growing revolution against period shamers in the world after your daring feat? Largely, these questions remain unanswered and I doubt if we will have anything in the affirmative as answers to these questions any time soon.

I would be more than happy to be proven wrong. Honestly. Anything for the greater good of the world.

I read up a little about you when I found out about what you did. At first, I was in two minds, whether this actually is a great achievement or plain stupidity? The more I read the more my opinion started tilting towards the latter. You’re a drummer for MIA and Thievery Corporation. You’re young and live in London or Boston? You’re a feminist and will write a strong blog to change the world of women. You will probably get into great arguments to stand for women’s rights. And you will ensure to do gimmicky things to get attention, more for yourself, and less for the cause, it seems.

I fail to understand why the world is going gaga over what you have done. You've achieved what you set out to achieve. You're popular. Full points to you on that. But it is unbelievable that the publications the world over are actually praising this act of utter stupidity which is not only useless but probably unhygienic. Why don't you take this movement further and encourage women to not use a tampon for one day of their menstruation cycle each month? More visibility, right? They could travel in metro trains, they could walk around in parks, sit on their desks, all the while dripping blood down their legs, 'proudly'. Let's spread the message of period shaming and along with it the exact opposite of hygiene.

You took a great route to increase awareness around breast cancer by running in the marathon and raining money. You barely capitalised on a 'situation' and gave it a twist by raising awareness around period shaming. This is being an opportunist and not necessarily genuinely believing in any cause related to the real issue whatsoever. I have some more marathon suggestions on the same line through which people should spread awareness:

  • Masturbate Marathon: Masturbation is cool and better than raping. Will be perfect for India. Spread the message of solidarity for boys who live with their parents and sleep with their siblings and are deprived of porn now that it is banned. Let's run with semen dripping down our legs.
  • Snotty Marathon: A lot of poor people probably do not have access to basic medicine for cold etc so they probably keep sneezing and have constant runny noses. Let's run along with runny noses all the while dripping snot down our lips.
  • Shitty Marathon: Is something I have already spoken about.
  • Susu Marathon: I like to run for long hours because nobody can see my piss get mixed with my sweat.

Kiran, you probably need direction. There are better ways to talk about an issue. Ways that do not risk the health of anyone else. Do not set a precedent where women world over start running with their period blood dripping causing them to faint or having an infection. It is a serious matter. And don't you dare walk around with preiod blood dripping in front of me. I will not acknowledge you. I will not say hi, forget shaking hands with you. I will simply turn the other way and walk away. And that would have nothing to do with the fact that you are menstruating.

So, tell me, people: Am I the only one who thinks what she did was extremely stupid and completely useless?


  1. First of all those pants are definitely orange. Second, you forgot bath shaming. Running around soaking and naked at a marathon will really prove a point to all those who shame frequent bathers.

    Wait... What were we talking about again?

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  3. So you're comparing period blood with snot, shit and piss. Just because your body doesn't expel things apart from the aforementioned wastes, doesn't mean you have the right to publish hilariously incongruous articles.
    Period blood can lend one life (you probably don't have an idea of various endeavours encompassing stem cells and other medical developments), and is essentially a part of the life force of a human being, since it is after all blood. I remember having cut my ankle by a splinter lying bare on the ground, yet that did not stop me from playing badminton that evening, even when blood was continually trickling down and staining the neighbouring area. That, Sir, is not tantamount to me pissing or littering around.
    Tell me, Sir, how much time have you devoted to an article that Ms. Gandhi would never even bother to read? My sympathies.

    1. You cut your ankle while playing. You didn't risk your health / wound to get any worse by getting cut a day before and then playing with an open wound, did you? Your message could have been that there are many who don't have basic medical facilities so solidarity to them. Bravo!

    2. Please don't amuse me. Running without a tampon is not equivalent to an open wound. It won't risk her health in any way. It's not only about extending solidarity to the under-privileged. We will work hard, on our part, to secure their privileges. No, Ms. Gandhi's run was about exercising one's discretion. She is not indignant. She loves and respects her body and rightfully so.

  4. What is wrong with you guys! Feminism should mean more for the women not the men. What kind of a person does things to prove a point about your own anatomy! I'm not insulted, just amused. This is what Feminism has come to? In a world where no on gives a shit about anyone, you can only be principled internally. I may get into trouble for this... But common perception is only common when you dumb yourself down to the world!

    1. I don't even know what to think anymore.

  5. It's a little too extreme in the name of feminism. I mean which women in the interior of India and other countries even know it.
    And I am a woman, wearing pads is more of a hygiene and cleanliness for me.
    I would rather show feminism when I see a lady harassed or in distress.
    I would stand in a bus and GV me seat to an old man to show I'm independent.
    She ran with cramps kudos.
    But to show it off to the world is just a wannabe
    My personal opinion

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  7. She says "Where a woman’s comfort supersedes that of the observer."
    Blood sticks, stinks, changes color when exposed. Menstrual blood also discharges mucous membrane. So she was comfortable with all these and still running to prove what?! Only next time, when someone says "Kiran Gandhi" I look at the pants, not the face. Sorry- bad taste!

  8. First off, can we agree that this isn't really a health risk, infection waiting to happen, or unhygienic? But it's gross. Really. I can't imagine this was more comfortable for her in any way- just damp and messy and yuck. I agree running with a tampon would have been uncomfortable and she would have leaked by the end most probably. But she could have used a menstrual cup...And agreed, black pants. It isn't shameful to have a period, but to exploit your own femininity in a way you know will get back lash? Who is that helping?

    1. Very bad execution of an otherwise good thought.

  9. Maya,
    Somebody needs to educate you big time about the difference between menustration, taking a dump, a piss, masturbation and snort.
    Your "female dog" does not wear a tampon when she bleeds, but you do need to pick up her shit after. Hope theres an example that you could relate to.
    Kiran(i speak for here) would be more than happy to have you walk away without any acknoledgement, leave aside touching your hand(irrespective of weather her periods are on or not)
    Her message may not have reached the remotest parts of India, but it reached you. And many other disgusted-shallow like minded individuals too. So her point has been served again!
    Sanitary napkin adds have a blue liquid instead of blood for those many disgusted individuals like you. Thats why she chose a colour where you definitely see the blood. Shes trying to educate you; not the remote parts of India. Its the shallow, narrow minded educated individuals like you.

    You metion the women in your family(by their relation to you) and your proclaim for your love for feminism and women with so much pride, to compare their femininity to your man boobs. And to further generalise how no women jumps during her period. Youve got the gender all figured out.
    Probably because u have boobs...
    And your next loose motions use a tampon- since its all the same.

    1. I wish your comment made at least some sense. I could have responded to you in a better way.

    2. Her comment makes totally sense, but ou pissed out the toilet and now you don't have arguments. so, deal with it, you said stupid things and the lady made you noticed it.

    3. Alright. Relax. I concede defeat. Peace out.