Delhi – The Mini Punjab

I have always wondered why everyone outside Delhi thinks that everyone inside Delhi is a Punjabi. I used to ridicule at that thought and curse those people for their ignorance but then it dawned upon me that they’re right in thinking so. We all may not be Punjabi but we sure are fascinated by them. Like crazy. Sach bol riya si main.

A ‘Madrasi’ from down South can be found singing Punjabi songs in the Metro and a Bengali will be singing Punjabi songs as if his mother taught him that. We all try and speak Punjabi whenever wherever we can even if we don’t understand the difference between kiddan and kitthe! Each Sardar we encounter on the road becomes our paaji and any girl in a Patiala Salwar becomes a kudiye.

We can do Bhangra on Megadeth and eat chhole bhathure at a 5-star. We’ve all been to Amritsar and know at least one person living in Chandigarh or Panchkula. And who hasn’t had the langar at Bangla Sahib Gurudwara and he oil laden Halwa served in fistful portions? We blend with the Punjus in Karol Bagh like rum with Coke. We’ve all embraced their loudness, their music, their dance, their food, their appetite for alcohol, their willingness to get into a raada and their sex drive.

Mind you, we’re not Punjabis but we still are.

Now if we continue like this how the hell can we expect people outside of Delhi to think otherwise? But I’m glad we’re like this. At least it makes us a little jolly if nothing else. The Punjabi ways are usually happy but alas there’s a backside to it as well, their temper. But I guess that’s something we’ll have to live with and Delhi’s extreme weather doesn’t help us at all.

Thanks to the Punjabis we at least have an identity. We ‘Delhiites’ can be referred to as something. Our characteristics can be defined. Otherwise, what is a Delhiite? Other than being a rapist or a dumb beautiful girl? What qualities define a Delhiite? I have been trying to answer this question for ages but I am still struggling with the answer. There is no Delhiite. Everyone in Delhi is an outsider. Delhi is a city, a state full of outsiders. And that’s the best part. We’ve embraced each and every one of them. Be it the Biharis, the Gujaratis, the Marathis, the Assamese (maybe not so much) or the Kashmiris. Sorry Parsis you’re outnumbered here but you’re most welcome to live here. We’ve a lot of crows in Delhi. And together we all become Punjabi at one point or the other and that’s what unites us.

So the next time a Keralite (I know the difference between the different states in South India) asks me if I’m Punjabi I won’t say no. I’ll proudly say “Whore paji whore dass ski haal chaal hai?”