Green Mango More

I recently heard about a statement made by some politician in the Parliament. It went as follows:

“Aapko tay karna hai ki Dilli mein sarkar Ramzadon ki banegi ya haramzadon ki.”

I can’t help but laugh at people still cracking the green mango more joke. Have you not heard the green mango more joke? Well, it goes something like this:

“Green mango more ko hindi mei bol.”

“Hara. Aam. Zaada?”

“HAHAHAHAHAHAHA LOLOLOLOLOLO HAHAHAHAHAH HARAAMZAADA BOLA HAWWWWW HAHAHAHAHA HAWWWWWW!”

Guys, give that woman a break. It was a harmless, classic ‘90s joke that we used to crack all the time. She probably just heard it recently and tried to lighten up the mood in the Parliament session. I mean, just because you didn’t get it, the politicians didn’t understand, the news reporters hadn’t heard of it, the opposition didn’t end up laughing, does not mean the joke is bad. She tried her best to make people laugh and I think she is an extremely strong woman to have dared tickle the funny bone of a group of people where the average age is 103 years.

Of course she did not mean it seriously. Are you kidding? Why would you think that she would single out each and every community other than the Hindu community and abuse them in public? Just because everyone other than Hindus in this country is a minority? Naah! This lady would never fall that low, would she? Don’t take her for being that stupid. Just because she only wears saffron saaris and is from the ruling party does not make her a bigot. No sir! I know she reads the Ramayana regularly, has her own Ashram, is a ‘katha vachak’ (one who delivers religious sermons through storytelling) and prefers to be addressed as Sadhvi (a female Sadhu or a monk), but what I also know is that she is definitely not a hate monger. She is a beautiful woman with a great sense of humour.

India is a secular country, people. And who do you think came up with the concept of secularism in India? It was our politicians! This sense of patriotism which incorporates equal rights for people of all religions is deeply instilled in each and every one of our politicians, especially the ruling party. Don’t you see them implementing this in our lives every day? If not, sir, you are totally blind and must get your eyes and brain checked! How dare people doubt our politicians’ intentions and blame this innocent woman for cracking a not-so-funny joke? We must blindly follow them as they are our true leaders and we must respect them more than we respect our elders or even parents. It’s us, after all, who elected them. Certainly, we are not that stupid, now, are we?

In fact, this woman should, along with running the country so beautifully, get into stand-up comedy. I’m guessing she is a little ahead of her times but soon you will see people laughing hysterically at her jokes. You’ll see. If you still don’t agree with me, tell me one thing. She made fun about a 'green' mango that so closely resembles the colour on the Pakistani flag. She is a real Indian. So, trust you me, trust her with your eyes and brains shut and let her do her job.

I, personally, wish her all the best for her future and I so wish that she continues to crack such great jokes all the time. I’m a budding humourist and would love to take some tips from her. If she is reading this, I hope she can send in some pointers on ‘How to be funny in public in 3 easy steps.’ I still pee my pants whenever I get up on stage. So that’s that.