B For Bakchodi

What is Bakchodi? It sounds like a dirty word but I can tell you it’s not. You may think that only the most useless people indulge in it but I can vouch for the fact that everyone does it. It is what keeps us going. It is what differentiates us from the animals. It is what brings a smile upon an infant’s face. It is what makes a dog wag its tail.  It is what impresses your boss and gets you promoted at work.

It is the essence of life.

Imagine a day without laughter and joy. Imagine you go to school, you study, and you come back. Imagine going to work and working. Life without Bakchodi would become a journey to Mordor where you wouldn’t even have a Hobbit servant carrying you on its back. Without Bakchodi, life would become meaningless. How else would you justify a monkey dating model? Or a Ramu from Saharanpur who knows only archaic Swahili chilling in Paris? It’s all Bakchodi, my friends.

Words can often be misleading, like ‘Bakchodi’. They sound odd but they mean a lot. Tell me, why do you surf the Internet? It’s not because you want information or you want to stay in touch with your friends. You could have done that even before the Internet was born. The primary reason for Internet to have been invented was to spread the joy of Bakchodi. The world was going through a crisis back in the 1970’s and the big countries were at war. That’s when they decided, ‘fuck this shit, imma do what I want’. And then the jokes began. To spread those jokes with ease, they invented the Internet. Soon, tensions were eased and we entered the most peaceful era ever known to mankind.

Be it a Mata Rani ki photo which needs shares, or a cat sleeping with a porcupine; it could be a child who is not suffering from any deadly diseases but still asking for money or a dog who is walking on his tail on the surface of water; everything we do, everything we see, everything we ‘live’, is Bakchodi. From a football fan live Tweeting a game late at night and still figuring out what offside means to the guy who’s got more pimples on his face than there are craters on the moon, from the God fearing person who wanks off to statues and holy scriptures to the hippie who cribs about the world all day long while smoking weed lying next to a gutter with street dogs; everyone is a Bakchod.

You and me. Him and her. Them and us. She and he. A Sardar joke in school. A sexist joke at work. An hour under a tree in a garden. Playing cards with strangers in a train. An African baboon for entertainment at a Punjabi wedding. Or getting confused as an African in Pondicherry. Tell me my dear friends, if all of this is not Bakchodi, then what is?

It is time for us to accept Bakchodi as the most important element of life. No more shall Bakchodi be looked down upon by anyone. No more shall people take offence by mere acts of online or even real life Bakchodi. Let there be an unstoppable eruption of human fluids and laughter alike. Let there be light and let there not be fight. Let’s support our politicians even if they are dumber and more idiotic than a flock of Teetars sitting on a tree. Let us make fun of each and everyone, whenever and ever we can. Let us all become proud Bakchods. Comprende?

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