Idiots Are Everywhere

Late last night I reached a certain posh locality of South Delhi where my fiancé had parked her car because her office is in the same colony. We had gone for dinner in our car and we were picking hers up on the way back. Since it’s a residential area, one can find empty parking spots during the day but they fill up by night as people come back home from work, etc. When we reached, we saw a car parked right behind ours and I wasn’t too surprised. Although our car was parked on the side of the garden and not in front of a house. But I thought to myself, maybe we parked in someone else’s usual parking spot, and we didn’t take it out on time, so the poor guy had no choice.

I stepped out to check if someone was around and I saw a man standing in the first floor balcony right opposite the parking spot. I gently asked him if it was his car and he said yes. I paused for a moment as I was expecting him to maybe come down or say something. He didn’t, so I proceeded with requesting him to move the car and this is how the conversation happened:

“Uhmm.. Bhaisaab aap yeh gaadi hata denge please?”

“Aap kidhar rehte ho?”

“Ji mai idhar hi kaam karta hu. Idhar office hai mera.”

“Aap rehte kidhar ho?”

“Ji idhar office hai. Mai idhar kaam karta hu. Aaj kuch kaam pad gaya tha so I had to leave the car. I’m sorry for the inconvenience but can you please remove the car now?”

He was obviously not busy doing anything, he was leisurely just strolling in the balcony in his shorts and t shirt.

“Nahi.”

“Uhmm.. hata dijiye please mai leke chala jaunga, aage se nahi khadi karunga idhar.”

“Nahi.”

Awkward silence.

“Lekin kyu? Hata dijiye bhaisaab mai nikal ke le jata hu na.”

“Aadhe ghante baad hataunga.”

“Kya?”

“Aadhe ghante baad hataunga gaadi. Fir le jana.”

“Matlab.”

“Haan. Aadhe ghante mein hata dunga.”

“Bhaisaab hata do abhi please. Mai nikal ke le jata hu.”

“Nahi.”

I looked at him for a few more seconds, furious with anger, and went back towards my car. I sat back inside and told my fiancé what had happened. We decided to leave the car for the night but now I was worried about what he could do to the car.

This guy was looking for a panga. He didn’t have a reason to be such a bitch. He didn’t need to trouble me like this. I had not woken him up, I had not disturbed him in any way, I had apologised for the inconvenience caused, I had assured him this won’t happen again, I was willing to take the car away right then, but he did not budge. Just because he was living in South Delhi in a posh locality, he was being an idiot.

I was raging with fury but controlled the urge to not do anything stupid. People die over parking spot spats. I didn’t want to die in such a lame way. I prefer an alien invasion.

I started driving back towards my home but decided to stop at the Police Chowki hardly 500 meters from the place. I got out and spoke to the cops. I told them the situation and asked for their advice. They gave me their support and said they’ll come with me. But to not make the matter worse, I decided to go check on the guy once again on my own without the cops. The guy was nowhere to be seen and he had drawn the curtains. I waited for about 5-10 minutes and even honked a few times. I didn’t get a response.

I drove back and told the cops that I was leaving the car behind. They tried to assure me that the car would be fine that I should come pick it up in the morning and in case there is an issue, I should call 100. They were still winning to come with me to talk to the guy. But I decided against it went back home.

The reason I didn’t take the cops at that time was to not make it worse for my fiancé who would have to go back to the same area, park in the same vicinity and face any sort of trouble from that chap. Calling the cops on him at midnight would have hurt his ego and he was the sort of guy who would keep a grudge. That was a judgement call I took and I stand by it. I went there today morning and got my car back. The guy wasn’t to be seen neither was the car. I was glad. My car was safe and sound. Just that I didn’t need the car at night, I had decided to leave it. Things would’ve been much different if I’d had to take the car back at any cost for something important.

The point I’m trying to make here is that we have our assumptions of certain areas and localities. People like me are looked down upon at because I live in Jamnaa Paar. But the point is, it doesn’t matter where you live. Idiots are everywhere. From Dharavi to Malabar Hill, from Tirlok Puri to Vasant Vihar, from Ghaziabad to Gurgaon, you will find idiots in every corner of your city. You may have studied well, belong to a rich family, worked at a nice place, have kids and stuff, but that still wouldn’t stop you from being an idiot no matter where you live. It’s because you don’t have the basic moral education of being good and doing good. You can’t take a course on that.

A strange little incident, just pissed me off because all the South Delhi pricks think they’re the best but they don’t realise that that they’re as big an idiot as any other idiot from West, East or North Delhi. So you might as well take that snob value up your arse and pleasure yourself all your life and forever remain an idiot.

I don’t know why people take pangas with a kind man, man. Don’t take pangas with a kind man. Shareef aadmi ko tang mat karo.