Saturday, 23 February 2013

Chetan Bhagat vs Justin Bieber

There was elation around the world when the ‘oh-so-funny-I’ll-do-it-when-I’m-drunk’ Gangnam Style overtook Justin Bieber’s Baby as the most watched Youtube video. More so than when Hitler died or when Osama was assassinated. And people are even happier that the Harlem Shake has taken the attention away from the now ‘piece-of-shit-overrated-crap-I-don’t-get-it’ Gangnam Style.

This trend of hating anything that is popular is as natural as the spring water in the Himalayan Mineral Water Bottle and Rakhi Sawant’s penis. Kai Po Che, based on Chetan Bhagat’s The 3 Mistakes Of My Life, is the latest scapegoat for the slightly posh janta who’ve probably read that lone Shakespeare play and consider themselves connoisseurs of literature. These specimens can be found on Twitter raging about how unfair life is or playing antakshari with metal songs calling it a marathon. They can be seen drinking martini and smoking hookah in an upmarket cafe in Khan Market or Hauz Khas Village. These people are so fake that Pamela Anderson’s boobs retract inside her body in shame.

If a 25 year old man is found listening to Justin Bieber in the Metro, the crowd will probably pull the emergency brakes and tie the man to the tracks right in front of the train. Oh you may rape a woman in this country but you shall not listen to the gay pop sensation called Justin Bieber.

“That’s not real music man. Listen to some fucking dubstep yo. Zatz d real shitz yo.”

Even if you puke on this specimen it wouldn’t stop going wub wub wub wub. What is most annoying about this breed is that they are not willing to understand the simple fact that anything that is ‘popular’ will have its haters along with its fans. Instead of sharing their opinion about a certain pop act, they give out their verdict that it sucks. Do they even realise that it’s called ‘popular’ for a reason?

This in no way means that I am supporting the inhumane novels written by Chetan Bhagat or the murderous songs sung by Justin Bieber. I have a strong dislike for Justin’s music and I feel Chetan Bhagat has written one decent novel (Five Point Someone) but the rest has been mostly crap. I don’t like either of them but then again it’s not like I will sacrifice my family, my cow, my pet monkey or the lice in my hair to please the God of Wrath so that he kills them both. These guys create what their audience like. It might be crap for some of us but then it works.

“I hate chocolate. You love chocolate. But chocolate is chocolate.”

I mean there are people who say that The Lord Of The Rings is just some random made up shit that anyone can think of. I shit you not. Then who are these Biebers and Bhagats we crib about? Mere mortals, eh?

Haters gonna hate. Potatoes gonna potate.

Let them be I say. It’s natural to be jealous about someone else’s success but hey, let’s not be a bitch about it, okay? Cheers.


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