Life On Twitter

We start off due to peer pressure or not

Either way, initially we’re as good as a bot

From there we start exploring the world of Twitter

Not knowing eventually we’ll be feeling bitter

We get a 100 odd followers and we easily get happy

We start cracking jokes about how life is fappy

We reach 500 and we’re mini-Twelebs of our own

With every subsequent follower we loudly moan

Hitting the 1000 mark is then the real deal

You start getting RTs even on your Bhindi Roti meal

Some of us get there because of DPs that are pretty

Some stop replying at all like Shakti Shitty

The 2000 milestone makes you celebrate a little more

Post that you officially become a Twitter whore

You sell your soul for even underwear brands

And for a free phone you donate your testicular glands

Three to Four K is just a little step towards the big league

It’s when you reach 5000 you start acting like a real peeg

Mentions go unnoticed, you start unfollowing some Tweeps

And you create brouhaha when you get mentioned by a creep

Now you think you’ve become better than the rest

But you know it’s as fake as a silicon breast

Twitter has now become more important than you real life

And you start Tweeting “Hey! What’s for dinner dear wife?”

After 10000 you take on the role of an activist on Twitter

You may talk about principles, but outside you still litter

Your dad is shown the mid finger and you create a hue and cry

But know you know nobody gives a shit and that’s not a lie

The ones with 20 to 30 thousand are now celebs in real life too

Their fans want to Twitpic them even while they take a poo

Half of them are comedians or at least that’s what they think

Their careers are over in a second, you just need to blink

You’re either Sonam Kapoor or KRK if you cross the 50k mark

You don’t do shit, but all day like a dog you bark

You may sit in a corner of your loo and Tweet all day

But on Twitter you’re probably the coolest Tweleb of Bombay

So where are you right now? At the bottom or the top?

I’m still rotting deep down, my journey’s been a flop

But I do hope someday you get where you want to be

My rhyme is over, I’ll Tweet this when I go to pee