Tuesday 28 May 2013

Life On Twitter

We start off due to peer pressure or not
Either way, initially we’re as good as a bot
From there we start exploring the world of Twitter
Not knowing eventually we’ll be feeling bitter

We get a 100 odd followers and we easily get happy
We start cracking jokes about how life is fappy
We reach 500 and we’re mini-Twelebs of our own
With every subsequent follower we loudly moan

Hitting the 1000 mark is then the real deal
You start getting RTs even on your Bhindi Roti meal
Some of us get there because of DPs that are pretty
Some stop replying at all like Shakti Shitty

The 2000 milestone makes you celebrate a little more
Post that you officially become a Twitter whore
You sell your soul for even underwear brands
And for a free phone you donate your testicular glands

Three to Four K is just a little step towards the big league
It’s when you reach 5000 you start acting like a real peeg
Mentions go unnoticed, you start unfollowing some Tweeps
And you create brouhaha when you get mentioned by a creep

Now you think you’ve become better than the rest
But you know it’s as fake as a silicon breast
Twitter has now become more important than you real life
And you start Tweeting “Hey! What’s for dinner dear wife?”

After 10000 you take on the role of an activist on Twitter
You may talk about principles, but outside you still litter
Your dad is shown the mid finger and you create a hue and cry
But know you know nobody gives a shit and that’s not a lie

The ones with 20 to 30 thousand are now celebs in real life too
Their fans want to Twitpic them even while they take a poo
Half of them are comedians or at least that’s what they think
Their careers are over in a second, you just need to blink

You’re either Sonam Kapoor or KRK if you cross the 50k mark
You don’t do shit, but all day like a dog you bark
You may sit in a corner of your loo and Tweet all day
But on Twitter you’re probably the coolest Tweleb of Bombay

So where are you right now? At the bottom or the top?
I’m still rotting deep down, my journey’s been a flop
But I do hope someday you get where you want to be
My rhyme is over, I’ll Tweet this when I go to pee

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